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Short Humor: Nature Is Trying to End the United States of America, Starting At the Edges

09 Sep

Because the North West is one big bonfire while the East one big swimming pool.

And because I just can’t leave End-of-the-World jokes alone.

Dear Oregon & Washington,

Calm down. “Blaze it” is just an expression. Yes, we know you have a reputation to maintain but please stop going up in flames. You guys are supposed to get a lot of precipitation yes, and you probably wanted to spice it up a bit, but it’s not supposed to be raining ashes.

If that wasn’t enough, it seems like you’re having so much fire fun that Idaho and Montana has decided to get in on it themselves… to the tune of 1 million acres.

I guess we damn liberals are going to burn in hell so this is just a pre-taste, but in the meantime, let’s just enjoy how lit the NW is… I guess.

Sincerely,

A Scared Shitless SoCal Resident Dreading Fire Season Who’s Wondering Where The Media Went On This Story

P.S. WA / OR Residents. Should I ship you some marshmallows?

 

Dear Hurricanes,

Please stop running a train on the poor East Coast and Gulf of Mexico.

Harvey just tried to wash Houston off the map.

Irma is intimidating the fuck out of everyone (all 7 million who are evacuating at least) with 185 mph winds, 200 mph+ gusts, and sheer size.

Please let up a bit. Do you actually think that the National Guard will be able to keep up with all this?

No way, Jose.

And to you dear Jose, STOP IT. You and Irma should NOT be exchanging high 5’s.

Sincerely,

News People Who Are Tired Of Reporting On Hurricanes

P.S. Thanks for being nice, Katia

 

Dear Trump

This is what happens when you bow out of the Paris Climate Accord.

Best regards,

Mother I’m-Going-To-Destroy-You-Slowly Nature

 

 

 

In case you guys didn’t know what the first letter was referring to: this thread is pretty entertaining and simultaneously enlightening:

 

 

 

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1 Comment

Posted by on September 9, 2017 in Current Events, Short Humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One response to “Short Humor: Nature Is Trying to End the United States of America, Starting At the Edges

  1. Morgan

    September 10, 2017 at 4:39 AM

    Their dedication to the game is impressive being a native of the I.E. foothills of Southern California I’m an quick to take the gtfo approach, but that’s just me.

    Liked by 1 person

     

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