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Category Archives: Short Humor

The Effect of Rain in Southern California

Con: People drive like intoxicated, blindfolded monkeys.

Pro: Shopping becomes a peaceful affair. People refuse to go anywhere, preferring to hole up at home instead.

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I mean look at the Costco check-out area! It’s practically a ghost town.  Normally on a Friday afternoon, I would be able to waltz from one side of the checkout floor to the other by walking across a solid continents of carts and never touch the ground.

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It also looks like a different neighborhood out there. I swear these hills usually have fewer signs of life than Mars.

 
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Posted by on January 20, 2017 in Current Events, Short Humor

 

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Dance of the Glitchy Sugar Plum Fairies from The Nutcracker Suite

This video is too good. This post is an archive for my purposes so i can easily dig it up and come back to later… but hey, it’s also a great piece of work that should be shared. In the description box by Joel Pashby:

The Nutcracker with dancer Cyrus “Glitch” Spencer, JR Tight Eyex, James Derrick, and the California Phil in Pasadena on Dec. 12, 2015–from the brilliant mind of maestro Victor Vener.

aaand another one:

 
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Posted by on December 18, 2015 in Current Events, Short Humor

 

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Does This Make Me Evil: Red Lip Russian Roulette

It’s quite simple. My red lip products are my bullets (geddit? lipstick bullets? okay nevermind).  Some of the reds are non-transferable while others are, and leave bloody-colored marks.

S.O. comes home and i go to greet him with a kiss, like always. Lately though, I’ve taken to greeting him with a random red lipstick on.

Because all my reds look the same to him, he can never be sure if the formula that i have on is transfer proof or not. Some days he gets away scot-free while on others, he breaks away with a very clear lip print  looking like he just walked out of a cartoon make-out session.

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This is literally his face as he awaits the result. (From Pon & Zi a webcomic by Jeff Thomas)

 

Needless to say he’s now far more wary when i approach him with a painted grin at the end of the day. Of course, he could choose not to play this game of roulette by not bending down to where my lips can reach his face, but if he doesn’t kiss me or let me kiss him… I poke him.

The poor guy just can’t win.

Though he has gotten me back by kissing my forehead after I got him with a transferable lipstick. 😄

 
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Posted by on December 7, 2015 in On the Fence, Short Humor

 

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Total Beauty is Total Bullshit

I’m specifically referring to this article.

TL;DR don’t let your bf see this article and don’t let him him give you a “facial”. It’ll fuck up your skin. Here’s why:

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 17, 2015 in On the Fence, Short Humor

 

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Theories of Why Donald Trump is Running for President

A little brain blawgh on potential reasons why this sun dried tomato with shredded Parmesan cheese for hair is entertaining us all with his valuable time and resources. Reasons go from most plausible to least plausible.

1) He’s doing it to increase his speaking fees and become more relevant, again. Loads of previous presidential candidates have benefited from the exposure they received during their campaign.

Recent media coverage goes hand in hand with higher relevance. People with high relevance command higher speaking fees. Even if he doesn’t win, he’ll get paid shit tons more wherever he is asked to appear after this election season is over.

2) He’s doing it to get young people interested enough to participate in the election process. Participate? You know, to actually go out and exercise their right to vote. Humor get’s everyone’s attention right? Perhaps he’s doing it to engage the younger generations and get them to give a shit about who’s going to the be country’s next scapegoat or venerated leader. Whichever.

Sadly, I can reel off way too many peers who have no interest in political news. They say that nothing interests them or sprout some other bullshit reason so they’ll pass on the polls. As a minority that belongs to the 50% that once wasn’t allowed to vote or own property, this laziness infuriates me, but that’s another rant for another time. But really, unless you have a personal vendetta against every single one of the candidates, fish out your grubby, dusty  pen and pick one candidate that doesn’t completely rub you the wrong way..

3) He’s in league with the Democrats and is helping them secure the 2016 presidency.

wait, WHAT?! Let me say it again, Trump’s rampant verbal diarrhea could be serving to guarantee a win for the Democrats.

Think about it this way: If Donald Trump (the most popular candidate atm) gets the republican nomination, there’s no contest. The vast majority of people are going to go, “hahaha. GG GOP. fuck, no” and vote democrat or third party. And because no one can even name the third party candidates, the Democrats will have the election in the bag.

Even if he doesn’t get the nomination, the Democratic nominee will still have an easier time securing votes. The Republican name will leave a bad taste in some people’s mouths because of the association with Trump. One bad apple can spoil the whole barrel.

4) He’s actually running for president.

 
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Posted by on August 18, 2015 in Current Events, Short Humor

 

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(SFW) I have a dirty mind… Hagie doesn’t actually have a boner.

So while watching youtube preview videos of the 10th Vindictus character “Hagie” (on the KR server) i couldn’t help but notice some unfortunate positioning and angling.

Screenshot taken from Yoobin's video

Screenshot taken from Yoobin’s video

It’s just one end of his dual point dagger hanging on his right hip.

Mfw. it reminds me of those ornamental nail covers nobility used to wear, except over a… different kind of digit.

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2015 in Game Humor, Short Humor, Vindictus

 

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A Shower Thought About that Supreme Court Ruling

 
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Posted by on June 26, 2015 in Current Events, Letting it Go, Short Humor

 

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