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Short Humor: Nature Is Trying to End the United States of America, Starting At the Edges

Because the North West is one big bonfire while the East one big swimming pool.

And because I just can’t leave End-of-the-World jokes alone.

Dear Oregon & Washington,

Calm down. “Blaze it” is just an expression. Yes, we know you have a reputation to maintain but please stop going up in flames. You guys are supposed to get a lot of precipitation yes, and you probably wanted to spice it up a bit, but it’s not supposed to be raining ashes.

If that wasn’t enough, it seems like you’re having so much fire fun that Idaho and Montana has decided to get in on it themselves… to the tune of 1 million acres.

I guess we damn liberals are going to burn in hell so this is just a pre-taste, but in the meantime, let’s just enjoy how lit the NW is… I guess.

Sincerely,

A Scared Shitless SoCal Resident Dreading Fire Season Who’s Wondering Where The Media Went On This Story

P.S. WA / OR Residents. Should I ship you some marshmallows?

 

Dear Hurricanes,

Please stop running a train on the poor East Coast and Gulf of Mexico.

Harvey just tried to wash Houston off the map.

Irma is intimidating the fuck out of everyone (all 7 million who are evacuating at least) with 185 mph winds, 200 mph+ gusts, and sheer size.

Please let up a bit. Do you actually think that the National Guard will be able to keep up with all this?

No way, Jose.

And to you dear Jose, STOP IT. You and Irma should NOT be exchanging high 5’s.

Sincerely,

News People Who Are Tired Of Reporting On Hurricanes

P.S. Thanks for being nice, Katia

 

Dear Trump

This is what happens when you bow out of the Paris Climate Accord.

Best regards,

Mother I’m-Going-To-Destroy-You-Slowly Nature

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Posted by on September 9, 2017 in Current Events, Short Humor

 

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On Studying for a Neuroscience Final

“This is fun! Because now your brain can freak out about itself!”

 РP. Harding, 2017


 

 
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Posted by on August 10, 2017 in Short Humor

 

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Arisha Hairstyles + Bolero Headpiece = Entertainment

Depending on the hairstyle used in tandem,, she can look like one of several things:
Pocahontas:

War paint and all

War paint and all

A Cockatiel

Beautiful crest.

Beautiful crest.

aaaaand

A Tomato with a bit of vine

2014_12_27_0020

 
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Posted by on December 28, 2014 in Short Humor, Vindictus

 

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Pick Up Line for Females ft. Chicken

One of my male friends said the following while we were randomly talking:

“Man, I wish i was a girl… I would be so good at seducing people. I don’t know why girls say it’s so hard to ask guys out or pick up guys. If I was a girl i would grab a bucket of chicken then walk up to someone and go, “So do you want my breasts or thighs?” ;D

Why not both?

 
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Posted by on December 9, 2014 in Short Humor

 

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